Hamish McBraine has vowed never to return to the idyllic Ionian island of Snafios after his honeymoon was ruined by a drunken Greek chef.
The 28 year-old Glaswegian musician and amateur sporran restorer had parked his precious instrument in an alcove at a harbourside taverna while he and his wife settled down for a romantic dinner.
“After about an hour, I noticed an odd wee smell,” he told us. “It was a-coming from tha’ kitchen, a kinda’ smouldering wood and scorched wool.”
Hamish went to investigate and was horrified to discover his bagpipes, a treasured heirloom made by his great-great-great-grandfather Hamish, gently stewing in a pan of what the staff claimed was goat and octopus stifado.
“I pulled her out o’ the broth,” said Hamish, “but she’s warped and spoiled beyond repair and I canna get rid o’ the stink o’ nutmeg. Ma father Hamish will be a’ turning in his grave, and his father Hamish too, and his father Hamish as well. I’m a’suing!”
Taverna owner Stavros Rodinoulis denies negligence and says that a new chef mistook the bagpipes for the octopus which local fishermen usually leave daily in that alcove.
He denied that the 17 year-old chef had been drinking heavily although did admit he had stopped the lad dancing with a statue earlier that evening.