In a flurry of 3am tweets, President Trump this morning claimed that Kim Jong-un’s fearsome array of intercontinental missiles were in fact simply commercial fireworks:
“BIG SURPRISE folks – TURNS OUT little rocket man’s projektiles really ARE little!! Like, there ten buck rockits from your local store! Check out these shots the CIA guys blew up with whatever they use, like clever teckie computer stuff which I understand. So FAKE!! We have SO many rockits folks, just MILLIONS, all bigger than anyone else. TRUST me!!”